Curiosity: The Currency of Eros

Cultivating aliveness through openness to mystery

I was asked an interesting question over the weekend:

”I have been playing with this question for some time. But it is a question that’s really up for me to explore right now, not only in myself, but also in others. I suppose it’s probably unique to everyone.

What drives your desire or arousal for another? What is it that creates that feeling of wanting to know someone more? How is it different from one person to another and why?

I’m not expecting you to answer them all. I am just sitting with this and deeply curious.”

I sat with it for awhile. And what surfaced was curiosity itself. That’s what turns me on. For love and for life.

Curiosity is the currency of Eros. It’s an openness to surprise and wonder. It invites us to explore the unknown, to see what reveals itself when we stop trying to control the outcome. Most of us approach connection with ideas, expectations, stories, projections—but curiosity is what cuts through that. It’s what makes discovery possible.

As Esther Perel writes, “Curiosity is a key erotic element, as it keeps us interested in ourselves and in our partner.”

Notice: she says ourselves first.

Curiosity turned inward is how the spark of Eros animates our own aliveness. When we bring that same curiosity outward — toward another; it’s an invitation to connection.

I led with curiosity, and she opened into it. Then she met me with her own.
That’s magnetism.

There are endless ways to explore ‘I want to know you.’ That kind of creativity cultivates a deep well of intimacy.